Advice for Bad loser Remainiacs

Were you a Remain campaigner? Are you sore about the referendum result? Check out these 10 top self-comforting strategies.
1.) Call every white person who voted Leave a “racist”, ignoring the fact that Europeans are also white. Make sure you ignore and marginalise ethnic minority leave voters.
2.) Claim that the (huge) turnout wasn’t high enough. 72%? It should have been at least 75%! 80%? It should have been 85%! Make sure to keep moving the goalposts.
3.) Make a stupid e-petition demanding another referendum, just like the socialists did when Labour lost last year. We need to keep having referendums until we get the “right” result.
4.) Get over-excited about the economy, even if the impact has been pretty boring and mundane. Pretend that your 2:2 in English Literature makes you an expert on currency markets.
5.) Attack the very idea of Democracy, because it’s only a good thing when it goes the way you want it to. Working class voters don’t know what’s good for them, but middle class liberals definitely do.
6.) Share memes bashing Brexit, ignoring the unwelcome and uncomfortable realisation that you are in the minority of public opinion.
7.) Boldly claim that Scotland will leave the UK, forgetting that A) they can’t afford to B) the EU can’t afford to take them C) 1.6m remain votes don’t cancel out 2m NO votes.
8.) Make fun of Boris Johnson while sweating slightly and really hoping he doesn’t become Prime Minister.
9.) Learn absolutely nothing from the campaign, blaming the result on everyone but yourself. Scaremongering and bullying are clearly the best tactics to use, there’s no way they could possibly backfire.
10.) Curl up in a ball and cry yourself to sleep while listening to “Ode to Joy”.

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